About
The stigma of suicide echoes in all areas of life."Why are surviving spouses and family members of suicide treated as afterthought? After the funeral and the dust settles we are left to figure out how to rebuild our life and identity. Some family and friends become foes, and survivors or significant others are pointed at for blame, why? All parties are suffering, but my journey was humiliating.
Many men and women who have served and retired from any branch of the armed services, struggle with the demon of suicide. Suicide is a mental health demon that is worldly. No one is immune, and no one can stop free will, but lowering suicide numbers is possible.
SSG Scott Harmeyer was my husband. He was 26 years old and died from suicide after he served in the Army. Six months was how long he fought after, retirement. He served in both Iraq and Afghanistan, earning two Purple Hearts and ARCOM with Valor. PTSD, depression, addiction, and TBI were some of his diagnoses. His time in service was difficult, but he was a remarkable soldier and leader. Scott, was vol-n-told his career had plateaued, and he was medically retired. I am a widow of a warrior in Valhalla."
The Full Story
What is it that fuels you? For me, it’s Widows of Valhalla.
August 1, 2016, changed everything but made me realize that PTSD, TBI, addictions, retirement, finances, and marriage take a massive toll on the mental health of anyone, but more distinct within military communities.
The trauma of losing my husband Scott to suicide was the death of my past and the birth of a future I had no idea I could do. Military life and culture are different from the civilian world. The transition of, "learning how to civilian" (SSG Harmeyer) is harder than most soldiers and dependents think. Yes, there are resources but the dramatic change in life, career, and identity can take a toll on mental health, and the thoughts of suicide decay positive progress. The pandemic of military suicide and the magnitude of how dependents and families are left with obstacles that are invisible to the world still challenges me to this day. Improvement of current resources, and leadership guidance would be beneficial to service members while out processing.
Stopping suicide will not happen because we all have fee will, but decreasing the statics is a start.